Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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