So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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