My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am naked and annoyed.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
