Can Purell be used as lube?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
