I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
