Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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