ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
