i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
