I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
