turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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