butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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