Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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