i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize