as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
