so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
