I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
