so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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