i just had sex bonerless
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
