watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Farmville is her only friend.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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