im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
