I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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