Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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