Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
