Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
