Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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