Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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