i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize