no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
