dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
