"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize