she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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