i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
