her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
