I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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