Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
one might say we're banned from that church
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize