Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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