You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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