we have officially lost it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
