Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
