Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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