Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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