I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
