Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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