32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize