How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
