And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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