So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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