btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
