i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
