Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
