I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
