So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
