This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
