How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
