There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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