me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
