a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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