Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
