): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
