woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
its liver damage thursday
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
