i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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