So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Randomize
