Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
NoShamevember. You game?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize