I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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