Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
