Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
