got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
