hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
