dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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