I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
