Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
