walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just tell him i said nine months
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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