i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize